It's a Long Road Ahead

Had an appointment w/my counselor today, and we talked about some of the troubles I've been having, as well as how to work on my own confidence and self-worth instead of relying on others.

I will admit that how others treat me or perceive me (especially those I consider close to me) shapes how I feel about myself. I think that's natural. But it's becoming a detriment. It's making me handle things in a negative way, and only making things worse, which in turn is making me feel less of myself. And it needs to stop.

Now, I know I have a lot of positives. I know I'm a good, caring person w/many good qualities that other people like about me. No one can take that away. But now it's a matter of building up that knowledge instead of knocking it down w/negativity. It's not going to be easy by a damn sight, but, as they say, nothing worth doing is.

She also suggested in the two weeks before my next appointment that I start writing down positives. Whether it's something negative I feel I handled in a better manner than I normally would, or just something I accomplished that I'm proud of myself for, write it down @the end of the day. And it sounds like it could really help. We'll see, shall we?

After my appointment, I decided to take advantage of the absolutely beautiful weather today and take a walk. I first ended up @Gamestop. During the quieter bits (school vaca, so kids were coming and going throughout) I conversed w/the guy behind the counter, and talk turned to working there. He mentioned how he started working there 4 hours a week, no retail experience, then got into his current position. He also told me if I were to come in even only part-time, get in as an Assistant Manager, shadow and whathaveyou, I could work my way up and make even more money than I'm making being a phone monkey @Verizon, w/full benefits and all sorts of other perks.

I tell you, it's something I'm considering. I still need to work on getting my license, taking care of my debt, building up some savings, etc. But, if all that fell into place (especially if I get the opportunity to take a buyout from VZ, which could net me a good $20k), I really could see myself there. I definitely have the knowledge, and having 6 years in good standing under my belt w/one of the biggest corporations in the country doesn't hurt either.

Oh, and I went to Big Lots and bought socks. Three packages, in fact. I was long overdue.

Come on...who doesn't like the feeling of a brand-new pair of socks on their feet? It's almost up there w/meat and sex.

I don't wear socks during sex, though...because, a girl can pull that off. For a guy, that shit's just goofy.