Cleaning is a Bitch...and Other Observations

(Lets try this again, as by some mystical force of jackassery, a good chunk of my blog got deleted.)

I've started Spring Cleaning just a few months early. It's made me realize a few things:

1. I have a lot of crap. I mean, I'm only a few steps behind Crazy Senile Packrat level.
2. Why is it that cleaning a mess makes it messier?
3. I may just have a hospitable environment for guests and partygoers yet.

Also, I made a big step in repairing a dear friendship, mostly through realizing that I was being an ass. So, I apologized and did my best to make amends. Whether it fully works is yet to be seen. But I hope so. I <3 this gal.

With that, my mind has gone to thinking about my first appointment w/a counselor, the date of which is coming fast. I've started to wonder what's going to come of it. It's safe to assume I'm going to end up talking about things I don't want to talk about, or that I'd rather forget. My guess is that I'll have to swallow what little pride I have and just go w/it if I'm going to fix things.

My 26th birthday is tomorrow. Doesn't feel the same as turning a quarter-century old (for obvious reasons). I've been informed that I have plans that evening, so it'll be nice to know I'm getting out of the house. I also enjoy getting birthday wishes from friends and loved ones. Here's hoping.

Also, I've restarted my Japanese lessons again, after a long hiatus. I still need to recover all my resources, but I'm already enjoying it.

Some random thoughts:

1. I need to take more pictures.
2. I really don't care for winter.
3. I wish I knew where my bloody Javascript textbook went. Hopefully I find it among the pile as I clear it.
4. Valentine's Day is coming up. Joy.

It's been an interesting month, to say the least. As I sit here, contemplating a cigarette (I vaguely remember mentioning quitting around New Years), birthday looming, I start to think about what the rest of the year will bring me. And that I should double my efforts to help that process along.

That, and I really wouldn't mind having a kitty around the ole' homestead. Damn "No Pets" rule.

In Under a Month's Time...

...I'll be doing the paperwork and all the brouhaha to start seeing a therapist.. Hopefully it'll be the first step to learn how to manage myself, and appreciate who I really am. Stress, anxiety, and the like are a bitch like that. Losing a relationship, losing loved ones, frustration w/people dear to me, being stuck in a rut...while I make headway in small doses, it all gets to a point where everything crashes down, and I'm not strong enough to get myself out of the wreckage under my own power. I still don't know how this will all work out, but I hope this shows everyone I'm doing my best to make an effort.

2007 had a lot of rough patches, I'm hoping I can start paving those over in the coming year.

Just do your best to show me some patience, guys, k?

Why Start This?

Especially when I could probably post this crap on MySpace?

Eh. Different environment may make for different viewpoints and output, I suppose.

Either that, or I'm a whore when it comes to sharing the things in my brain.

Let's see how this goes, shall we?